Black Leather and Fishnet

Their website calls their rock performances "a bombastic celebration of arena rock."

After standing 20 feet from the edge of last night's performance by HairBall, I'd have to agree.  It was one of the more declamatory exhibits of 80's and 90's glam rock that I've seen in many years.  Good thing no one on stage or in the audience was taking themselves too seriously.  Then again how can you when you're wearing fishnet stockings and black leather?

My wife and I, along with another couple, went to the WORLD'S LARGEST OFFICE PARTY 2012 at the La Crosse Center last night to enjoy some raucous music, rowdy bar-like behavior and a few adult beverages.

Having never been to WLOP before, I didn't really know what to expect.  But anytime you put radio station personnel in charge of a party you should expect something out of the ordinary.  Like a variety and drag show, and for those with a strong arm -- dunk a calendar girl.  Young girls with tight jeans and tattoos were having a good time, as was the guy wearing a tee shirt that proudly advertised "Poopies Grub n' Pub Bikers Bar" in Savannah, IL. (Doug and I will have to drive down some day and visit).

Radio stations and their sponsors are always crazy.  Every time I've been to one to work Kiwanis Radio Days I've encountered someone different - think crazy Bob "Bulldog" Briscoe and the pompous Gil Chesterton from the show "Frazier."

It's been a l-o-n-g time since Liz and I have been downtown to the bars, and despite enjoying the show last night, I can't say I miss any of it.  Too many drunks, sweaty bodies, bad breath and loud music that I don't like.  Fortunately, the music last night was from two bands that make the rounds in La Crosse during Oktoberfest -- Brat Pack Radio and HairBall.  It's a little weird to think that I still like the music from 30 years ago -- Journey, Van Halen, Kansas, Rush and Bon Jovi.  But it's even weirder that a lot of other people do too.

Maybe it's an indictment of what we hear today.  Rap and pop music suck.

I still don't get rappers like Kanye West, Snoop Dogg and Eminem.  They are super popular with teenagers, but do people really like what they have to say?  Or is it cool to hate women, be a bad ass/get shot by rival gang members and say f*ck and b*itch a lot?  And if they weren't singing about having sex in church or doing it with other women, would anybody really care about Madonna or Lady Gaga?  KISS did the makeup bit much better than Lady Gaga, so I don't see that attraction either.  But of course, I'm over 50, so I can't relate to today's kind of music, or the reasons why people like it.

Give me the simplicity of "Working Man" by Rush, "Anyway You Want It" by Journey or "Everybody Wants Some!" by Van Halen.  Too heavy?  How about "Bohemian Rhapsody" or "Stairway to Heaven?"  I don't even have to tell you who wrote/sang those songs -- everybody knows.  And I still like the occasional rock ballad from albums like Dog and Butterfly by Heart or Queen's A Night At The Opera.   Those were songs that made you sneak out to your parent's car so you could crank it up and rock.

Living in La Crosse, I never had much of a chance to see the big groups live.  My friends and I would drive to Madison or Minneapolis to watch the popular groups (and that wasn't until I was in college).  If we did get a band to La Crosse, it was before they became popular or had any big hit songs.

It was also a time before YouTube and DVDs, so there was no way of seeing your favorite rock stars in concert unless you went to their live performances.  And there was no way to listen to their music, unless you bought their records.  I remember staying up late on Friday nights to watch In Concert.  If you were lucky, you got to see a three minute performance by Ziggy Stardust or the Doobie Brothers singing "China Grove."

I used to go to a place called Metamorphosis to buy my records (one of my first purchases was REO Speedwagon's  Riding The Storm Out in 1973).  The place was full of concert posters, tee shirts, water bongs, roach clips, pipes and cigarette papers.  As a matter of fact, the place always smelled like pot when you walked into the place.  The store attendant was some long hair dude who sat behind the counter and played guitar or harmonica.  It was also a good place to screen print tee shirts with your favorite band or rock star.  My friends and I were dumb enough to walk around with shirts that had "Neil Pert" screen printed on it, until we figured out that he spelled his last name "Peart."

My first concert as a teenager was KISS (at the old Mary E Sawyer Auditorium) and I thought it was the greatest thing ever.  The next day, I couldn't stop talking about KISS's Gene Simmons  breathing fire and throwing up blood, surrounded by clouds of threatening smoke.  To a 16-year-old boy, seeing his first rock concert -- it was unlike anything I'd ever seen.  When his fingers pounded on his bass, it was so loud, the notes literally moved my clothes.  The fiery stage explosions were so powerful, I was worried the heat would set my hair on fire.  And the thunderous drum solo felt like being hit by a train roaring down the tracks behind my house.  It was pure, absolute rock and roll -- and in your face.

I think I kept their concert tour book for years after that show.  Tucked it away where no one could find it, because, at the time, KISS wasn't a popular band.  Actually they confused and worried some people, with their name often thought to mean something else, like Knights in Satan's Service.  It wasn't until their song  "Rock and Roll All Nite," from Dressed To Kill, that they had a song people started to listen to.  My friends still don't think they're very good musicians, but I don't care, because they were my first concert experience and you never forget your first time...

It's been downhill ever since.

That's not to say I haven't enjoyed concerts since.  There were a couple of shows in La Crosse that featured some of the biggest names in rock before they got popular.  Twin bills featuring Cheap Trick and Heart (sometime around 1980), another with Journey and Van Halen (1978), and one of my favorites, Kansas and Queen (1975).  And best of all, you could get up close to the stage if you stood for the whole concert.  I always wanted to get a guitar pick from Paul Stanley or a drum stick from Neil Peart, but never did.  And, of course, I never wanted the concert to end.  Two encores were the minimum -- I was disappointed if they came out for only one.  And is there a better sight than to see an auditorium lit up by 3,000 lighters?  Today they use cell phones, but somehow it just doesn't seem the same without a burning flame.

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So the WLOP concert with HairBall starts at 9:00 with all of the usual fun -- pitch blackness with the restless crowd anticipating a good time.  The small, colored lights from the amps and speakers on stage are the only things visible as a roadie leads the band on stage with a flash light.  Standing before their microphones, each band member is silhouetted against a backdrop of speakers stacked ten feet high.  As the curtain covering the drum set is slowly raised, the crowd begins to clap and raise their voices.

 

Suddenly, we're under way, with flames shooting from the floor and loud explosions erupting from both sides of the stage. As I watched, Peggy, who was standing  five feet in front of me, backed up a few steps.  Jumping from a riser and running to the front of the stage was David Lee Roth, singing the opening words from "Jump."  With his long blonde hair, a red bandanna, white spandex and over-sized sunglasses, the singer leaps into the air, kicking his legs out while punching the air.  His stage persona has you thinking "that really does look like the guy from Van Halen!"

After a few more songs, David Lee Roth is replaced by KISS's Gene Simmons who brings his demon ax guitar and fire breathing to center stage.  Then Axle Rose from Guns and Roses, Dee Snider from Twisted Sister, Prince and Bon Jovi.  Each lead singer is supported by the same terrific band -- a guitar player (wearing fish netting under black pants with holes in them), a bass player (clad in hip-hugging, laced-up black leather) and a drummer (encased behind cymbals, twin bass drums, snare drums and assorted toms).  The band plays to the audience, with screaming solos, flips, slides and chosen encounters with female audience members.

After an hour, the excitement continues as more people continue to squeeze to the front of the stage bumping bodies, beers and iPhones along the way...

For anyone who loves rock and roll, Hair Ball provides the perfect tonic for those who love the glory days of arena rock.  Loud, rebellious, and over the top.  How else would you describe a song like Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It?"

"We've got the right to choose and
there ain't no way we'll lose it
this is our life, this is our song
we'll fight the powers that be just
don't pick our destiny 'cause
you don't know us, you don't belong."

"Oh, we're not gonna take it
no, we're not gonna take it
oh, we're not gonna take it anymore!"