Success Through Failure

They say you can learn a lot from failure.

Ask Bo Ryan and the Wisconsin Badgers basketball team that went to the NCAA's Final Four last week.  Despite having one of the best years in Wisconsin basketball history -- and Bo's first trip to the Final Four -- many fans were left with a sense of failure.  We lost.  Forget the 30 wins throughout an extra-long season, including wins over some of the best teams in the nation.  We lost.  All we can think about is how we fell to the Kentucky Wildcats on a last second shot by Traevon Jackson that rimmed out as time expired in a 74-73 loss.

The way the NCAA sets up the tournament fouses on failure to make it one of the most watched sporting events in the country.   We are asked to fill out brackets that list winners and losers through the first, second and third rounds, Sweet Sixteen, Elite Eight, Final Four and finally National Championship game.  Throughout the three-week tournament, we celebrate the unexpected upsets, shocking exits and unpredictable endings that leave one team (and sometimes its coach) crying over the loss.  Players bent over in disbelief.  Towels hiding tear-streaked faces.  Emotions on video -- to be replayed again and again.

Celebrating failure has never been so popular.



It almost makes you want to ban winning to save the loser the pain and humiliation of going home -- all right, I'm just kidding.  But every few weeks I hear another story about some children's game being changed, because someone complains about the harm it is doing to those who lose.

If you want an extreme example take Idaho (please).  Apparently in that state it is now politically incorrect to cheer for your kids at a sporting event because someone might get their feelings hurt. According to a CBS news story, parents were penalized for cheering on "Silent Cheer Day," a day designated by the Rathdrum, Idaho Parks and Recreation Department in an effort to get spectators to not shout negative remarks to players or referees.  So in typical leftist fashion, someone thought it best to ban all cheering, not just the negative comments, from the game.  I guess now they just flap their arms or flex their fingers open and shut to show approval.

That's crazy, you say.  Maybe, but it's not the first time it's happened.  I remember when our boys were in show choir -- on a trip to Iowa we were treated to a silent cheer when we saw parents opening and closing their hands.  Their reason?   To allow participants to hear the remaining singers rather than a raucous crowd cheering for a soloist.  There were a lot of things that happened in show choir that made me question my sanity and that was one of them.  Can you imagine a Rolling Stones concert where someone complained about the "noise" following a guitar solo by Keith Richards?

Before you get down on our neighbors to the West, know that Iowa show choir fans weren't the first to ban loud cheers.  Apparently the Taliban have been banning vocal cheering at sporting events for years.  And no, I'm not kidding.

I'm a big fan of "Last Man Standing" with Tim Allen on ABC.  This week's episode involved his daughter who is trying to get into West Point Military Academy.  The Academy only takes the best students with the best grades, so when her high school grades suffer from an advanced math class (taught by a teacher who doesn't settle for anything less than maximum effort), she requests an easier class so she'll have a better grade point average.

Of course Tim Allen will have none of it. 

He usually expresses his political opinions through a video blog at work, which emphasizes the show's weekly theme. Allen's blog's are always based on family values, pride in what makes the USA great and constitutional principles of our founding fathers.

So, as part of this week's theme -- which was about failure -- Tim used his daughter as one example of what's wrong with our educational system.  A system that promotes high self esteem over excellence in reading, math and science is cause for concern.  It's really disappointing to see higher dropout rates, failing grades in worldwide assessments and an increase in the numbers of unemployed youth.  How anyone can feel good about how our students are doing is beyond me.

Obviously, there are many complicated factors involved in preparing our children for life after high school and college, but giving students an easy "A" or "B" doesn't do the child or our country any favors when it results in these kinds of numbers:

Results from 2012's Program for International Student Assessment shows the U.S. slipping since 2009 from 25th to 31st in math; from 20th to 24th in science; and from 11th to 21st in reading.  It's unbelievable that a country with so much going for it can't make it into the top ten.  We have more opportunity and more resources to throw at students than probably anyone, and yet many students struggle to simply read or write.  Countries like China, Japan and Korea are kicking our ass and it's easy to see why.  Our foreign students at UW-L (from Asia) spend much more time studying than we do, and the fear of failure drives many of them to study all the time.

As ironic as it sounds, our struggles math, science and reading leads to more sympathy for those who are falling behind -- completely ignoring the reason for our school's continued slide.

I heard the other day that we are leading the world in one important category -- self esteem.




I experience failure everyday.

Not surprising, people are not interested in talking about insurance.  The television show "Fargo" had a painful bit about Martin Freeman (Bilbo Baggins from the movie "The Hobbit") trying to sell a young couple life insurance.  They promptly got up and walked out of his office.

I have been in this business too long to remember what it was like before my first day at Beadle-Ewing Insurance.  But I'm sure I was like most people -- insurance either meant 1) I had to spend a lot of money or 2) thought insurance was something I would never use.  So I realize it's going to be a tough sell.  Even though it is essential to a good life.

So what have I learned by failing everyday?  Maybe the same things that Thomas Edison, Colonel Sanders and Walt Disney learned.

Thomas Edison was once asked if he should quit after failing 9,000 times trying to create a light bulb.  His answer?  "Why would I think or feel like a failure?  And why would I ever consider giving up?  I now know over 9,000 ways that an electric light bulb will not work.  Success is almost within my grasp!"  And shortly after that, and over 10,000 attempts later, Edison invented the light bulb.

Colonel Sanders -- of KFC fame -- entered business at the age of 65.  He decided to supply a recipe to restaurants for cooking chicken and his secret formula.  He purchased a white suit with a classic hat and started knocking on doors.  He heard the word NO over 1,009 times before he got his first YES.  By that time, two years had passed with him sleeping in a beat up old car wearing the same white suit.

And finally Walt Disney -- turned down 302 time for the financing he needed for building Disneyland.  Earlier in his career, he experienced bankruptcy, lost ownership of Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (to be replaced by a mouse called Mickey Mouse), and failed in his attempt to be an actor in Hollywood.  Hardly the recipe for the creation of more than 81 feature films, 48 Academy Awards and the founding of the California Institute of the Arts.

A NO to Thomas Edison, Colonel Sanders and Walt Disney was not a sign of failure.

Failure is an event that can provide energy to fuel us or drain us depending on how we allow ourselves to view it. My guess is that Bo Ryan is a good enough coach that he didn't dwell on the loss to Kentucky, but rather the 30 successes that came before it.  Instead of the "ONE" loss experienced in Dallas, perhaps he mentioned the "ONE" championship banner hanging from the Kohl Center rafters from the 1941 basketball team that won it all.

That means it's been seventy-three years since our last championship.  So it's been a long, long time.  If a typical Wisconsin team plays somewhere between 30 to 35 games each year, it has played a total of 2,190 to 2,555 games since it last won a national title.  Will next year be the one that ends this long stretch of failure?

I think I hear Thomas Edison saying we're that much closer to success.



This past week, award-winning American actor, Mickey Rooney died in his sleep at the age of 93.   Beginning as a child actor, his career extended over 90 years.  He appeared in more than 200 films and was one of the last surviving stars of the silent film era, having one of the longest careers in the medium's history.  It was said that Mr. Rooney had earned and lost fortunes many times over his movie career.  He is credited with saying, "You always pass failure on your way to success."

In the end, our own success is defined not by opportunity, but in our persistence in defeat.  I am choosing to remember the 2013 Badger basketball team's vision, courage and hard work in reaching the Final Four.  Surely these are the ingredients of all championship teams.

Rum, Frank the Tank and Girl Scout Cookies

The game clock shows 2.3 seconds.

I've seen the video replayed for the tenth time and still the referees are huddled together looking closely at the monitors.  Either they are terribly inept or are looking for something that I can't see.  The rules state that it can't be overturned without indisputable evidence.  How can you look at something for five minutes and claim anything is indisputable?  Doesn't make sense.

Speaking of senses, mine are at their outer limits as we await the referee's decision.  Two days of watching exciting basketball -- many of them  determined by a single possession of the ball -- have tightened my neck and back muscles to the point of breaking.  My heart has been in my throat more often than food.  If someone doesn't make a decision soon, I think I'll fall over dead.

As time slows to an unbearable crawl, the referee turns to the camera and says, "Possession goes to Arizona!"

This past weekend is one that will remain lodged in my mind -- and stomach -- for many years. 

We have been having a blast in Chicago with Liz's brother, sister-in-law and family watching the Wisconsin Badgers and Arizona Wildcats knock each other silly for the last four quarters, plus. 

The room is an obstacle course as I pace back and forth in front of the television.  Without a thought, I step over a variety of toys, including Legos and Barbie accessories, a blanket that has managed to find its way around the house all day, and our favorite mascot for the day -- Daisy.

In my hand is my usual rum and ginger ale.  Only this time there is something special waiting in the wings.  Earlier in the day, Eric, Liz and I had stepped into Binny's Beverage Depot to buy some wine for the night.  Much to my surprise -- sitting on a shelf in the rum section -- was one of the most glorious sights one could ever see.  Like Charlie Brown in his Christmas special doing a double take at the little Christmas tree that had become beautiful, I bend over in disbelief at a brown bottle of 15-year old, imported Ron Matuseum Gran Reserva rum.

"What... is... this?"  I mumble to no one in particular, reaching for the bottle.  Sure enough, it's the real deal.  In my hands is a bottle of rum that has found a way to elude me for most of the last 25 years.  On a spring break trip to the Bahamas in the early 80's, three friends and I spent a sun-filled week disposing of 15 bottles of Gran Reserva.  Not once did I get sick or even wake up the following morning with a hangover.  And if I did, it was because of the Corona beer that had also found its way into my body.

Once, I was able to find a bottle in South Carolina; another time I discovered it in a Mexican airport, and recently a friend and I ordered a case from a distributor in Texas.  Otherwise, I have scoured every liquor store I walk into only to find nothing that comes close to tasting as good as my boy, Ron.

This is a good sign for tonight's basketball game, I think.  If the Badgers win, it'll be shots all around.  With two bottles in hand, I head for the checkout fearful that somehow they will vanish from my grasp like a fragile sand dollar sinking into the salty Atlantic Ocean.



With under five minutes remaining in the game, Frank -- the Tank -- Kaminsky steps back for a three point basket that would give the Badgers a lead they would not lose.  And though Arizona would tie the game three more times in regulation and overtime, the Wildcats would not lead again.  

While other Badgers were timid with their shots, or passed the ball to other players, Frank was aggressive from the start.  At one point, "the Tank" was scoring under the basket with an awkward-looking hook, the next minute he was boxing out and putting back the rebound.  There were stretches in the Oregon, Baylor and Arizona games where he was the only Badger to put the ball in the basket, an indication of the match-up nightmare he was being for those unfortunate enough to guard him.

After the game, Frank Kaminsky was named the West Regional most valuable player, an honor that many, including himself, couldn't have imagined only a few months earlier.  How was it possible for the Badger's seven foot center who had scored a total of 133 points the previous year, to score a total of 66 points in just his last three games? 

A product of Lisle, IL, Kaminsky came to the Badgers as a typical Wisconsin recruit.  That meant that he was probably white, had a high basketball IQ, could shoot from outside the arc, and would put the team before himself.  Coach Ryan's system is often viewed as "old school" where you play solid basketball with ball fakes, solid passing and shut down defense.

Badger ball is a far cry from the likes of our next opponent, Kentucky.  While Bo recruits good players who develop through their senior season, Kentucky's coach sells the program on being a pathway to the NBA.  Instead of players that stick around for 3 or 4 years, Kentucky focuses on one-and-done, McDonald's All-Americans that attend school to play basketball and leave as quickly as March Madness has ended.

It's a debate that many are having this year -- the matchup between Bo's student athletes and Kentucky's one year NBA development players -- and this weekend's Final Four game will probably not provide an answer.  This much is known -- Kentucky's been to the Final Four three times in the last four years.  This is Wisconsin's first visit to the Big Dance since 2000 with coach Dick Bennett.

So it feels to me like this is a much bigger deal to Wisconsin than it is to Kentucky.  How have we been able to do it?

With Kaminsky leading the way in the second half , Wisconsin's starting five have found a way to play more up tempo including lots of three point attempts.  Our defense has become more defined, and every night it seems like someone else contributes a key basket to win the game.  There are very few big men, like "the Tank," who can take you off the dribble and pound it home or pull back for a long three to win the game.  The combination of Kaminsky and guards that can shoot has allowed Wisconsin to take down Michigan State, Florida, Virginia, Michigan Baylor and Arizona.  That's a collection of some of the best basketball programs in the country today.

And when it comes to basketball, it doesn't get any better than that.



The final buzzer sounds as Johnson's shot bounces harmlessly off the backboard.  Badger players run across the court leaping into the air and giving high fives.

Sharon and Liz and I are doing our own hugging and jumping for joy, oblivious to the terrified dog who thinks her world has just ended.  Colin heads off toward the dining room looking for his dad, who has decided it's best if he's not around to see the final minutes of the game.  Put a difficult real estate deal in front of Eric and he's cool with it.  But don't expect there to be any room for error if it's the Badgers or Packers.  Pity the poor child that has to hear the expletives coming from his mouth if things aren't going well.

But tonight, there is no reason to feel bad about the Badgers' effort.  

Having dispatched Arizona in an overtime thriller, Wisconsin is headed to Dallas for the Final Four.  Let me say that again:  THE FINAL FOUR.  Like the fine taste of the Gran Reserva rum flooding my system, those three words are intoxicating.  Like going to the Super Bowl -- no WINNING the Super Bowl -- there is nothing quit like surviving a last second shot in overtime to get to the pinnacle of college basketball.

As I head out into the kitchen to pour a few glasses of rum on ice, I spot a box of girl scout cookies lying on the countertop.

It was a typical night when Liz's niece called asking us to buy some girl scout cookies.  Jacqueline has the distinction of being the top seller of cookies in her troop (selling more than 250 boxes this year alone), and she's accomplished that feat by calling in favors from family members near and far.

Over the years we have bought the insanely delicious cookies from co-workers, neighbors and stopped at grocery stores selling them as you walk in.  I always look forward to buying them from Jacqueline because I know it helps her troop and it's fun giving her a hard time.  But I must admit, as a 9 (now 10-year old) she does a pretty good job of deflecting our jabs and getting us to order more cookies each year she calls.

The only downside to buying cookies from her is that she lives in Chicago.  Which means sometimes we don't get to eat them for months.  Sometimes half a year.  Thank the cookie gods that they can be put in the freezer for safe keeping.  Depending on where you put them in the freezer, it is possible to forget about them for weeks.  Or even months.  And doesn't it feel like Christmas again when you discover a frosty box of Thin Mints tucked in the back while looking for the frozen Tilapia?

When we are able to pick up our haul of cookies depends on when we can get down to see her family (usually around the time "March Madness" begins because that is when we go down to celebrate Jacqueline's birthday).  I've got some of the best memories of post-season Badger basketball when we are together, including a school record 13-point rally when they defeated Tulsa (watched from a bar during a 2004 early round victory).

But nothing will top the fun we had this year watching the Badgers take home the West regional trophy.  That game will be remembered for a long, long time.  Long after Jacqueline stops calling us about girl scout cookies.



Eric and I are sitting in our chairs, enjoying the taste of our rum, when the calm that fills the near-empty room is broken by Charles Barkley saying, "... just terrible!  These Badgers are good enough that they could beat the Milwaukee Bucks by ten points!"  

I'm not sure if that's a compliment to the Badgers or a slam against the Bucks.  Maybe both.

Either way, we are listening to the various pundits on CBS and the Big Ten channel talk about the game's exciting finish, the controversial foul and the overturned out-of-bounds play.  The television casts a surreal light about the darkened room highlighting empty glasses and a plastic sleeve that contained girl scout cookies just a few minutes before.

The television is showing a video of Bo Ryan cutting down the net -- something I never thought I'd see again.  I wonder if my smile is as big as Bo's, who has never taken the Badgers to the Final Four.  I can't imagine the years he has put into his profession, the miles he has traveled by bus and plane, or the number of players he has coached to reach this point.  

Ever year it is the goal of 351 schools in 33 Division I basketball conferences to see their names listed as one of the Final Four.  And every year it has ended for 347 of them.  This year the Wisconsin Badgers are not one of them.  

Regardless of what happens against Kentucky this weekend, this team has found its way into the hearts of millions of fans -- especially the heart of someone who loves rum and girl scout cookies while visiting family in Chicago on a cold March night.