Black Leather and Fishnet

Their website calls their rock performances "a bombastic celebration of arena rock."

After standing 20 feet from the edge of last night's performance by HairBall, I'd have to agree.  It was one of the more declamatory exhibits of 80's and 90's glam rock that I've seen in many years.  Good thing no one on stage or in the audience was taking themselves too seriously.  Then again how can you when you're wearing fishnet stockings and black leather?

My wife and I, along with another couple, went to the WORLD'S LARGEST OFFICE PARTY 2012 at the La Crosse Center last night to enjoy some raucous music, rowdy bar-like behavior and a few adult beverages.

Having never been to WLOP before, I didn't really know what to expect.  But anytime you put radio station personnel in charge of a party you should expect something out of the ordinary.  Like a variety and drag show, and for those with a strong arm -- dunk a calendar girl.  Young girls with tight jeans and tattoos were having a good time, as was the guy wearing a tee shirt that proudly advertised "Poopies Grub n' Pub Bikers Bar" in Savannah, IL. (Doug and I will have to drive down some day and visit).

Radio stations and their sponsors are always crazy.  Every time I've been to one to work Kiwanis Radio Days I've encountered someone different - think crazy Bob "Bulldog" Briscoe and the pompous Gil Chesterton from the show "Frazier."

It's been a l-o-n-g time since Liz and I have been downtown to the bars, and despite enjoying the show last night, I can't say I miss any of it.  Too many drunks, sweaty bodies, bad breath and loud music that I don't like.  Fortunately, the music last night was from two bands that make the rounds in La Crosse during Oktoberfest -- Brat Pack Radio and HairBall.  It's a little weird to think that I still like the music from 30 years ago -- Journey, Van Halen, Kansas, Rush and Bon Jovi.  But it's even weirder that a lot of other people do too.

Maybe it's an indictment of what we hear today.  Rap and pop music suck.

I still don't get rappers like Kanye West, Snoop Dogg and Eminem.  They are super popular with teenagers, but do people really like what they have to say?  Or is it cool to hate women, be a bad ass/get shot by rival gang members and say f*ck and b*itch a lot?  And if they weren't singing about having sex in church or doing it with other women, would anybody really care about Madonna or Lady Gaga?  KISS did the makeup bit much better than Lady Gaga, so I don't see that attraction either.  But of course, I'm over 50, so I can't relate to today's kind of music, or the reasons why people like it.

Give me the simplicity of "Working Man" by Rush, "Anyway You Want It" by Journey or "Everybody Wants Some!" by Van Halen.  Too heavy?  How about "Bohemian Rhapsody" or "Stairway to Heaven?"  I don't even have to tell you who wrote/sang those songs -- everybody knows.  And I still like the occasional rock ballad from albums like Dog and Butterfly by Heart or Queen's A Night At The Opera.   Those were songs that made you sneak out to your parent's car so you could crank it up and rock.

Living in La Crosse, I never had much of a chance to see the big groups live.  My friends and I would drive to Madison or Minneapolis to watch the popular groups (and that wasn't until I was in college).  If we did get a band to La Crosse, it was before they became popular or had any big hit songs.

It was also a time before YouTube and DVDs, so there was no way of seeing your favorite rock stars in concert unless you went to their live performances.  And there was no way to listen to their music, unless you bought their records.  I remember staying up late on Friday nights to watch In Concert.  If you were lucky, you got to see a three minute performance by Ziggy Stardust or the Doobie Brothers singing "China Grove."

I used to go to a place called Metamorphosis to buy my records (one of my first purchases was REO Speedwagon's  Riding The Storm Out in 1973).  The place was full of concert posters, tee shirts, water bongs, roach clips, pipes and cigarette papers.  As a matter of fact, the place always smelled like pot when you walked into the place.  The store attendant was some long hair dude who sat behind the counter and played guitar or harmonica.  It was also a good place to screen print tee shirts with your favorite band or rock star.  My friends and I were dumb enough to walk around with shirts that had "Neil Pert" screen printed on it, until we figured out that he spelled his last name "Peart."

My first concert as a teenager was KISS (at the old Mary E Sawyer Auditorium) and I thought it was the greatest thing ever.  The next day, I couldn't stop talking about KISS's Gene Simmons  breathing fire and throwing up blood, surrounded by clouds of threatening smoke.  To a 16-year-old boy, seeing his first rock concert -- it was unlike anything I'd ever seen.  When his fingers pounded on his bass, it was so loud, the notes literally moved my clothes.  The fiery stage explosions were so powerful, I was worried the heat would set my hair on fire.  And the thunderous drum solo felt like being hit by a train roaring down the tracks behind my house.  It was pure, absolute rock and roll -- and in your face.

I think I kept their concert tour book for years after that show.  Tucked it away where no one could find it, because, at the time, KISS wasn't a popular band.  Actually they confused and worried some people, with their name often thought to mean something else, like Knights in Satan's Service.  It wasn't until their song  "Rock and Roll All Nite," from Dressed To Kill, that they had a song people started to listen to.  My friends still don't think they're very good musicians, but I don't care, because they were my first concert experience and you never forget your first time...

It's been downhill ever since.

That's not to say I haven't enjoyed concerts since.  There were a couple of shows in La Crosse that featured some of the biggest names in rock before they got popular.  Twin bills featuring Cheap Trick and Heart (sometime around 1980), another with Journey and Van Halen (1978), and one of my favorites, Kansas and Queen (1975).  And best of all, you could get up close to the stage if you stood for the whole concert.  I always wanted to get a guitar pick from Paul Stanley or a drum stick from Neil Peart, but never did.  And, of course, I never wanted the concert to end.  Two encores were the minimum -- I was disappointed if they came out for only one.  And is there a better sight than to see an auditorium lit up by 3,000 lighters?  Today they use cell phones, but somehow it just doesn't seem the same without a burning flame.

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So the WLOP concert with HairBall starts at 9:00 with all of the usual fun -- pitch blackness with the restless crowd anticipating a good time.  The small, colored lights from the amps and speakers on stage are the only things visible as a roadie leads the band on stage with a flash light.  Standing before their microphones, each band member is silhouetted against a backdrop of speakers stacked ten feet high.  As the curtain covering the drum set is slowly raised, the crowd begins to clap and raise their voices.

 

Suddenly, we're under way, with flames shooting from the floor and loud explosions erupting from both sides of the stage. As I watched, Peggy, who was standing  five feet in front of me, backed up a few steps.  Jumping from a riser and running to the front of the stage was David Lee Roth, singing the opening words from "Jump."  With his long blonde hair, a red bandanna, white spandex and over-sized sunglasses, the singer leaps into the air, kicking his legs out while punching the air.  His stage persona has you thinking "that really does look like the guy from Van Halen!"

After a few more songs, David Lee Roth is replaced by KISS's Gene Simmons who brings his demon ax guitar and fire breathing to center stage.  Then Axle Rose from Guns and Roses, Dee Snider from Twisted Sister, Prince and Bon Jovi.  Each lead singer is supported by the same terrific band -- a guitar player (wearing fish netting under black pants with holes in them), a bass player (clad in hip-hugging, laced-up black leather) and a drummer (encased behind cymbals, twin bass drums, snare drums and assorted toms).  The band plays to the audience, with screaming solos, flips, slides and chosen encounters with female audience members.

After an hour, the excitement continues as more people continue to squeeze to the front of the stage bumping bodies, beers and iPhones along the way...

For anyone who loves rock and roll, Hair Ball provides the perfect tonic for those who love the glory days of arena rock.  Loud, rebellious, and over the top.  How else would you describe a song like Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It?"

"We've got the right to choose and
there ain't no way we'll lose it
this is our life, this is our song
we'll fight the powers that be just
don't pick our destiny 'cause
you don't know us, you don't belong."

"Oh, we're not gonna take it
no, we're not gonna take it
oh, we're not gonna take it anymore!"

Surviving The Blue Danube

A drop of sweat began at my temple, slid down my cheek before curving under my chin and disappearing inside my collar.

"I am so hot..." I muttered as we sliced through the crowd, spun to the right and collided with a man who was whirling past a collection of suits and dresses bouncing in amused denial.  "Quick, let's head to the fan by the window."  

 

As the music progressed, I followed Liz to the side of the floor.  Bodies continued to dart past, with silky flashes of cardinal red, white, cobalt blue and plum.  Black fabric whipped to the left and then right.  Together they created a dizzying sight -- a revelry of sound, color and laughter.

The orchestra presented the final few bars of "The Beautiful Blue Danube," which had been playing for 10 minutes.  With a bright-sounding flourish and the familiar pounding of the final eighth notes, the audience erupted with applause and cheers.

 

This weekend marked the annual presentation of the renowned Viennese Ball, held on the campus of the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire.  Liz and I were in attendance, along with friends Ben and Heather from the Moonlight Dance Club in La Crosse.

After passing on the event last year, we were excited to spend the night and give it a try.

For the past thirty-eight years, the university has assembled an amazing collection of singers, musicians and dancers to celebrate the culture, history and music of 19th century Vienna.  It promised the opportunity to dance waltzes and polkas from the Strauss Era in Vienna (1800's and into the 1900's), known as a golden age of romance and elegance.

It was a chance to dress in a formal tuxedo (me) and ball gown (Liz), eat a few tortes, drink some Gewurztraminer Riesling, and dance the night away to the sounds of "The Beautiful Blue Danube,"  "Emperor Waltz," "Serenade in Blue," "Cotton Tail " and "Thunder and Lightning Polka."

As a dancing event, it's the second largest Viennese ball in the world, next to the original in Vienna, Austria.


                                                   

My mind was a jumble, as Kellen Burgos, our dance instructor continued.   

"The Viennese Waltz is a classic, with quick rotating steps done to fast 3/4 time waltz music.  The main difference between the American Waltz and Viennese Waltz is speed."  He added, "The Viennese Waltz can be up to four times faster than the slow version.  A true Viennese waltz consists only of turns..."

My mind started to panic as I tried to grasp the significance of doing something I was terrible at, only four times faster.  "Is it too late to back out of this?" I mumbled.

"What was that?" Kellen asked.

"I think I'm having trouble backing out of the second turn," I lied, and smiled.

"Ok, let's try it again.  Now watch."  He grabbed his wife, Kathy, and gracefully maneuvered her through the steps -- turning toward his right (1, 2, 3), then to the left (1, 2, 3), interspersed with non-rotating change steps between the direction of his rotation.  It looked beautiful, graceful, fun -- and next to impossible.

It was the Friday night before the Viennese Ball in Eau Claire, and Liz and I had decided to get a quick lesson in the waltz to prepare ourselves for the big event.  It was beginning to look like an impossible task.  Despite the odds, I placed my right hand behind her shoulders, arched back slightly and stepped to my left.  And...



                                                     

 

Modeled on the historic New Year's Eve Kaiser Ball, the Viennese Ball had transformed the Davies Center on the Eau Claire campus.  Included was the cabaret-style Blue Danube Inn, Bosendorfer Salon, the festive Zum Goldenen Lowel Festsaal room, the park-like Liedergarten and a club venue called the Rathskeller.

The ball showcased the University Symphony Orchestra, who would perform the evening's waltzes and polkas; Jazz Ensemble I, who would perform music from America's Big Band Era; and the Dorkf Kapelle (Village Band), which would play traditional ethnic music from the German-speaking countries.

As we arrived, the building was packed with young and old -- I saw a line of guys wearing black tailcoat tuxedos, a band member wearing German lederhosen, someone wearing a Scottish kilt, and in true Viennese tradition, someone wearing a Civil War uniform.  The ladies were beautiful in their formal floor-length gowns, some with wide hoops and elegant white gloves.  Jewelry sparkles, from simple earrings to expensive diamond tiaras.

Between dances we sampled tortes, kasekuchen, Bavarian pretzels, rindfleisch baguettes,  pork schnitzel.  Beverages included German and Austrian wines, as well as full bodied beers from Germany.   Capping the evening off was a katerfruhstuck -- a tom cat breakfast with omelets, smoked ham, eggs, potatoes and apple wood bacon.

 Ich wunsche Ihnen Gesundheit und Freude (to your health and happiness)!




                                                


The Dorf Kappelle leader's hoarse voice easily carried across the throng of bodies, despite the lateness of the hour.  Standing in front of the collection of brass and woodwind instruments on stage, he shouted, "Ein prosit!  Ein prosit der Gemutlichkeit!  Eins, zwei, drei, g'suffa!  Zicke, zacke, zicke, zacke!"


The crowd roared back, "Hoi, hoi, hoi!" and I grabbed Liz's hand and dashed to the center of the room.  As the music began, we leaned back and spun around the room, kicking our legs and feet in our best effort to polka.  We were miles from the bleachers of Michigan's football stadium, and months removed from our very own Oktoberfest in La Crosse -- but we danced away to the festive sounds of the tuba, button accordion and trombone.

 

Laughing, I thought to myself that this isn't that different from the waltz.  Yet it felt comfortable and relaxed.  Instead of the frenzied take-off and colliding bodies in the Grand Ballroom,  everyone seemed to sense each other here and managed to sing and dance in unison.  Tux jackets and shoes were removed without any sense of inappropriate behavior or traditional decorum.   

But the evening wasn't over.  

And Liz and I weren't finished with our waltz.  We headed back toward the ceremonial room to eat then try the Viennese waltz a few more times.

It was approaching 12:45 a.m. by the time we approached the dance floor again.  My jacket was back on, but Liz had blisters on her feet and decided to try the final few dances without her shoes. 

The dance floor was much cooler and less congested as we stood facing each other.  I smiled, despite the fatigue of dancing throughout the evening, knowing that it had been a fun night, one I would remember for a long time.  The lighting in the room was dim, providing cover for the few bodies that were darting back and forth to the second playing of "The Beautiful Blue Danube." 

As we started our right turn, followed by a left turn, Kellen's words from Friday night came back to me.  We continued around the floor, unexpectedly finding a rhythm that matched the swelling notes of Strauss' masterpiece.  Right turn, left turn, intermixed with the change steps in the direction of my leading foot.  Repeat performance, then a quick stop to collect our thoughts.  Before I knew it the song had reached its conclusion and I felt the faintest stirrings of what it must feel like to dance the Viennese waltz without the confusion I had felt earlier in the night.  

That's not to say that we made no mistakes.  Far from it, but I can honestly say that I felt that we were making progress.  And for us, that was success, and another reason to dance out the last song of the night.  

As we decided to switch to the American dance version of the waltz, we were surprised to find a mass of young students sprinting around the outer lane of the dance floor.  They were laughing, jumping and running to the sounds of "The Radetsky March," which unlike the seriousness of most of Strauss's waltzes, was jubilant, playful and hopeful.

Much like the feeling I had as I swept Liz up in my arms and spun into another cycle of alternating spins and steps.


                                              

"Donau so blau,  (Dabube so blue,)
so schön und blau,  (so bright and blue,)
durch Tal und Au  (through vale and field)
wogst ruhig du hin,  (you flow so calm,)
dich grüßt unser Wien,  (our Vienna greets you,)   
dein silbernes Band  (your silver stream)

knüpft Land an Land,  (through all the lands) 

und fröhliche Herzen schlagen  (you merry the heart)
an deinem schönen Strand."  (with your beautiful shores.)

A Teachable Moment

Rush Limbaugh is always talking about "teachable moments," where an event provides an opportunity to explain the ideology and philosophy of the left.  Such an event just happened when Mitt Romney's wife, Ann, was criticized for being just a homemaker and "never working a day in her life."

These words were uttered by Democratic strategist and Obama adviser, Hilary Rosen, who was being interviewed by CNN's Anderson Cooper:  "What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country, saying, 'Well you know, my wife tells me what women really care about are economic issues; and when I listen to my wife, that's what I'm hearing.'  Guess what, his wife has actually never worked a day in her life."

Rosen continued, "She's never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing, in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school, and why do we worry about their future."  She added that Romney "just seems so old fashioned when it comes to women."

Ms. Rosen was on Cooper's program to continue the Democratic message that Republicans -- and by association, Mitt Romney -- are conducting a war on women.  Rosen said on CNN that Mitt Romney shouldn't use Ann as his "economic advisor" because she hadn't worked while raising her five children.  Therefore she couldn't possibly know anything of value as it relates to the economy.

June Cleaver -- supermom?

Now some of you are going to say, 'Oh, that's just some feminist who has an isolated gripe with Romney!'  Well, I disagree.  I think it's typical of what the Democrats really think about women who choose to stay home.  They are unsophisticated, uneducated and (as in the case of Ann Romney) married to someone with money.  It's a feminist point of view grounded in the battle cry 'I am woman, hear me roar!'

Democrats want you to believe they support women, when in fact, they only support women who are like them --liberal.  They have open arms for career women who don't need a man to bring home a paycheck, lesbians who want to adopt, single moms who struggle to make ends meet, or political allies who want to tear down mom-and-apple pie traditions.

If they were being honest, they would admit that raising a family is harder than going to the office.  There's no leaving work until tomorrow when your son is sick with the flu, or your daughter needs help with pre-calculus.

Finally, the democrats are caught saying what they really think about women, and it raises the question:  who's really waging the war on women?

Rosen, as a strategist for the DNC, has let it slip that if you are a conservative woman -- like Ann Romney, Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachman -- you can't win.  Whatever you do, you will not meet the feminist's idea of a "modern" woman.  And as a result you aren't worth squat.

As I've written before, liberals hate Sarah Palin.  Despite her strong character, college degree, successful family life, and a run as Alaska's governor she was attacked for leaving the home to work because she had a child with Downs Syndrome.  How could she put her own selfish interests before the needs of her child, they said.

And now, Ann Romney, who has survived cancer and is presently suffering from MS, is being criticized for staying at home with her children.  Isolated, ignorant and Republican.

What's a woman to do?  If you're a Democrat or an Independent, you're supposed to believe that Republicans hate you, want to take away your birth control and give more of your money to the rich.  Read the words from Ms. Rosen again and tell me if she makes ANY sense.

The left's attack on stay-at-home moms includes their belief that only working moms can understand how the real world works.  According to Ms. Rosen, Ann Romney isn't qualified to talk about the economy because she has never worked outside the home before.  By that definition, every news anchor that reports on tonight's news shouldn't be allowed to discuss abortion, education, Gov. Walker's recall, the war in Afghanistan, the price of oil or racial discrimination unless they've personally experienced it.  Or held a job in that specific field.  That's just plain stupid.

But that's what liberals think of stay-at-home moms.

Hilary Rosen

Earlier today, two anchors on CNN (both Democrats) were discussing Rosen's attack on Ann Romney.  Much of it centered on the work involved in raising a family of five children, despite her medical problems.  Only later did it come out that neither woman had any children.  It didn't stop them from being experts on the issue however, and giving their opinions.  I'm sure neither woman saw the irony.

The rebuttal of Rosen's harsh comments came quickly, with the Obama Administration making a quick defense of stay-at-home moms.  Hoping to keep their Republican war on women intact, the Democrats tried to paint Rosen as an outsider and someone who didn't speak for them.  Michelle Obama tweeted "Every mother works hard, and every woman deserves to be respected."  Unless you're Palin or Bachman.  Have you ever heard Democrats -- specifically feminists like Gloria Steinem, Patricia Ireland or Niami Wolf -- come to either woman's defense?  Obama strategist David Axelrod and Obama campaign manager Jim Messina denied that Rosen ever worked for them, but it has been noted that she had been a visitor to the White House over 30 times since 2008.  So while she may not be an employee, she certainly has their attention.

Yesterday, in her apology, Hilary Rosen said, "Let's declare peace in this phony war and go back to focus on the substance."  What is she declaring "phony?"  Is it the Republican attack on contraceptives?  Or the abortion debate?  Or maybe the attack on welfare moms -- generally single, with children and unemployed?

And what of "the substance?"  Is she referring to Romney's economic plan, which includes putting Americans back to work?  Or is it Obama's economic plan to make the rich pay their "fair share?"  That sounds like a good way to create jobs, doesn't it?  Stop with the class warfare and divisive rhetoric -- America was built on freedom and hard work, not sharing equally in the labor of a few.

Interestingly, more women have lost their jobs than men during Obama's presidency.  Between the end of June 2009 and May of 2011, men gained over 768,000 jobs while women lost 218,000 jobs.  Much of those loses came from education and government positions, which are popular with women.  As the money from the stimulus ran out, so did the need for women in those occupations.

Democrats haven't seen women as equal for a long time.  They continue to create dependency through government policies that are anti- family, anti-children and anti-religion.  As proof unwed, welfare moms get far more love from the Democrats than stay-at-home moms.

Isn't it time the Democrats stop with the community organizing, and support women who work from both the office or the home?  Whether it's preparing a meal for the family, or finalizing a real estate presentation, they both require a lot of work.