I am the most hated, dangerous man in the world.
Am I Mr. Big from Live and Let Die? No.
Am I Ernst Stavro Bloveld, planning to launch a national network of satellites to monitor mastermind criminal activities across the globe? No.
Or am I the monetarily-challenged Dr. Evil from Austin Powers demanding one M-I-L-L-I-O-N dollars?
Again, no.
My wife and friends don't know how dangerous and evil I have become. Apparently, being good in the sack and having a boat goes a long ways towards putting people at ease. My teammates at Viterbo University, aging sports stars that they are, still invite me to play basketball, and clients trust me to invest hard-earned money for their retirement years. My co-workers also still invite me for a beer after work. And yet every time I look in the mirror, I am reminded of the monster I have become.
Aaron Rogers gets more love from the Packers front office than I do from today's education system, feminists and civil rights groups.
My crime? Being a white, straight, conservative male dude.
According to a survey administered to students at a prestigious community college, white males are the most hated group in America. These students were given 10 questions relating to eight different racial, gender and ethnic groups, including black males, black females, Hispanic males, Hispanic females, white males and white females. The questions were designed to measure students negative attitude toward the eight groups and included phrases like hateful, prejudiced, cheating, societal wrongdoing and lying. Question ten even asked, "If you had to kill one of the above groups, which one would you kill?"
Putting aside the false premise that people ARE different based on their skin color, I don't think I've ever been at the top of a list before (although I did finish second once in middle school during basketball tryouts), and yet here I am at numero uno on six of the ten questions.
The ten-question survey clearly shows how much prejudice people have toward me by making false generalizations about white males. Conversely, if you put good qualities and asked for the same responses, my guess is that I would be at the bottom of that list.
The de-construction of the white, heterosexual male has been going on for decades. Only recently, with Black Lives Matter and CRT (critical race theory) have the attacks become more visible. Like some variant of Brood X, the U.S. cicada hatch coming in 2021 -- students from liberal colleges everywhere are infesting American corporations, major sporting leagues, government agencies and the military. The result is an attack on what it used to mean to be a white, conservative male: individualism, hard work, objectivity, the nuclear family, progress, respect for authority and delayed gratification.
I don't know what is more impressive -- the systemic transformation of rich, entitled students into hateful and rude snowflakes that hold America in contempt, or the capitulation of our once-great institutions to appease their ridiculous demands. Both are as welcome as the Grim Reaper knocking on your door in the middle of the night.
Equally frustrating is the ease with which the liberals have dodged their hypocrisy. Democrats enjoy being the moral arbiters -- they of the "hands up, don't shoot" grandstanding -- while openly accepting real racists and public masturbators as their leaders. It's impossible to be a hypocrite when one doesn't believe in anything but power. When that is the standard by which you live -- and you have the media on your side -- any behavior is acceptable. As today's Democrats like to say -- "... don't let a good crisis go to waste."
I have to wonder how something so racist and anti-American came to be. It's hard to believe a country so in love with Martin Luther King's dream of one day living in a nation "where (they) will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character," could completely change course in less than a decade.
There's little doubt that President Trump peeled back the onion that was hiding the layers of rot found in our major institutions (education, government and judicial). Trump attacked their non-American agendas and laid them out for all to see. Perhaps, fearing another Trump presidency, or someone like him, the Democrats accelerated their agenda with no holds barred.
With the GOP and Supreme Court rolling over on the 2020 election, it was time for the Democrats to call in their own MR. BIG.
Perhaps it went something like this... ?
Electric arcs crackle overhead as the shadowy figure spins dials and manipulates levers. Nearby, a tank -- holding the suspended blob of a brain labeled BYEDN -- bubbles happily. Scattered on benches and cabinets are test tubes filled with various powders and liquids. One of them, a large beaker labeled COVID, is lying on its side as a rat sniffs its spilled contents warily.
A large metallic table, suspended by an assortment of hydraulic pistons, holds the shape of a cloth-draped body. Leather straps are wrapped around its chest and legs. From beneath the sheet hangs a shriveled arm, with tubes leading from it with red, white and blue fluids running into a slotted grill in the floor.
Periodic rain, carried by a strong wind, strikes a curved, leaded glass window, although it cannot be heard above the constant buzz coming from the lab's powerful generator.
A second figure, wearing a white lab coat, pauses in her work as a nearby wall, covered by a bank of mounted television screens, shows various cable news broadcasts from CNN, CBS, MSNBC and NBC.
From the screen showing MSNBC, anchorman Don Lemon is saying, "We have to stop demonizing people and realize the biggest threat in this country is white men; most of them radicalized to the right, and we have to start doing something about them."
Another screen showed black Actress Gabourey Sidibe, from the film Precious, discussing race on “The View,”: “Older white men are a problem, y’all, for everyone. We’re all at risk.”
James Livingston, a history professor at Rutgers University, speaks on the screen showing CNN : “OK, officially, I now hate white people. … I hereby resign from my race. F— these people.”
On another television screen, the face of Steven Clifford, former King Broadcasting CEO, says, “I will be leading a great movement to prohibit straight white males, who I believe supported Donald Trump by about 85 percent, from exercising the franchise [to vote], and I think that will save our democracy.”
Combined, the frenzied voices muddle into a common theme, heard on every channel except the one labelled FOX. As if under a spell, each personality begins reciting language from today's DND press release, verbatim -- "... with Trump's assistance, white, male racism has once again reared its ugly head."
The man cackles menacingly and mutters to himself that everything is going according to plan. In his hands is an envelop from which he opens and removes a video tape marked "Jimmy Kimmel's Opening Monologue." He reaches across a wooden table and opens a drawer labeled, LATE NITE COMEDY. Inside are rolls of video tapes spooling into a machine connected by wires and flashing bulbs. Familiar names can be seen, like Stephen Colbert, Saturday Night Live!, Jimmy Fallon, Comedy Central and Full Frontal with Samantha Bee." Finding the correct slot, he puts the cassette in place, waits for a mechanical device to retrieve the tape, then closes the drawer.
Suddenly, a flash of lightning dims the overhead lights, to be followed by the boom of thunder. Excitedly, the man rushes to the table, frantically checking the straps holding the body, then cranks a wheel. Slowly the platform rises toward the ceiling, where within moments, a metal door opens and the platform and body disappear into the night sky.
As minutes pass, the man paces impatiently back and forth between a monitor showing of birds eye view of the rooftop and a heart monitoring machine, currently showing a flat green line. He pulls down a pair of goggles to shield his eyes from the glare while his female assistant adjusts a few more dials before the sound of approaching lightning seizes her attention.
"Any moment now, Barrack! We are so close -- I can FEEL it, any moment!" she laughs deliciously. "Soon we will have the ultimate symbol of opportunity, created by you. With it we will be able to fulfill your promise to fundamentally change the country!"
With a look of annoyance, ex-president Barrack Obama studies the monitor, where he watches the strapped figure being pummeled by a steady stream of wind and rain. He pushes a lever up adding more power to the experiment, as coils near a wall begin to heat and glow. The hum of electricity becomes deafening as the generator's cowling cries in squeaky protest. The wall of television monitors blacken, except FOX News.
"I need more power!" Barrack shouts, as more lightning and thunder rumble through the night sky.
Moving a final lever, he sends a final surge of electricity into the body on the roof. Despite the leather straps, the sheet covering the body is in tatters, revealing a figure reacting to artificial life surging through its body.. Its face grimaces -- an instinctive reaction -- as it fights the violent insurgency coursing through its veins.
Unsuspecting observers would be shocked in their recognition -- it is the disfigured body of one of America's most iconic symbols, Uncle Sam. However, the figure looks nothing like the tall, whiskered figure revered in patriotic plays, stories and verses. Instead, the damaged body has been "re-arranged" into a jigsaw of white, brown, and black body parts, representing African, Latino and American Indian origins. There has been a crude attempt to feminize the body, but it will never be mistaken for female or anything attractive. Instead of representing something beautiful and unifying, it is a monster. Like all things liberals attempt, this experiment is a frightening failure.
Suddenly, a crack of lightning momentarily whitens the television screen, before it fades to black, smoke curling into the air from the monitor's fried circuits and wires.
"Quickly Alexandria," Obama orders, removing his goggles, "help me lower the body!" Together the two figures move the wheel in reverse, lowering the smoking platform and body into the laboratory as the overhead doors slowly close. Overhead the violent storm has subsided, leaving illuminated clouds racing through a darkened sky as its only reminder.
Slowly, the platform reaches the floor. Its surface is blackened and charred having absorbed the majority of the lightning strike, but the body remains intact. Smoke, the result of water turning to steam, rises from the monster's blackened skin. In numerous spots, cuts have re-opened and stitches have burst where original and new skin were sewn together.
AOC is delirious with excitement, as though someone is talking about the New Green Deal.
Obama leans forward, carefully places his hand on the monster's chest and stares at its face. Seconds pass in anticipation, then fingers begin to twitch, then its hand and finally the entire arm. Obama watches the face and chest, looking for signs of sustained life. Still nothing.
"Come on!" Obama shouts, then thumps a clenched fist on its chest. Blood and water splatter. "You are my creation. My response to America's unjust founding, its homophobia, white supremacy and lack of opportunity for gays, transgenders, and other minorities. YOU are the new America. A country based on equity of outcome, not equal opportunity. Awaken! Become the Marxist object of tolerance you were meant to be."
As Obama's words die in the silence of the laboratory, the creature's chest suddenly begins to rise and fall, its eyes flutter and its mouth opens, gasping for breath. Finally, the eyes open and looked in fear at its creator.
AOC stares in amazement and says, "Ooh, master Obama! No, no! I mean, mister. No! Not mister. What politically-correct pronoun are we using these days?" she asks, then hesitates and pinches the bridge of her nose in concentration. Thinking has always been difficult for her, but today she is determined to meet the challenge. She smiles, opens her eyes and looks toward the ex-president.
"I mean your excellency! Yes, your excellency Obama. I am so excited! Today will go down in history as we reach the end of our journey. Following decades of radical protests, of climbing the corporate ladder to achieve control over America's most prized institutions, and of successfully removing the need to vote has led to this moment in time."
She wipes the back of her hand across her mouth, which had begun to salivate uncontrollably.
"Perhaps we should call CNN or ABC? Maybe a text to Chris Cuomo? Or another threat to Justice John Roberts? I am yours to command, your -- uh, excellency! Tell me -- what do you want to do?"
Obama smiles then says, "Call my wife. Tell her she can once again be proud of America. The New America. Our America."
