It's The Thought Police!

Pat -- my conservative lifesaver in a sea of liberalism at the office -- stopped at my door recently and asked, "Does it offend you if I say "shut up"?"

"Depends on if we're talking about Bret Favre or not," I joked.  Then I see his face and realized he's being serious.  "Not really, why?" I asked.

"Because my kids are telling me that it's not nice to say that to someone."  He stepped into my office, in the hopes that our conversation wouldn't travel past my door.  "Their school is telling them that they can't say it anymore because it may hurt someone's feelings."

I pushed my chair back and thought, what the hell?  Just another sign our schools are screwed up.  "That's nuts, " I said.  "I could see not be able to talk to your teacher that way, but to other students?"

"Yeah -- you can't say anything today without offending somebody.  It's nuts!"

In light of Pat's comments, I'm reminded of one of my favorite bands from high school, Cheap Trick.  They had a hit song called "The Dream Police."  It was a catchy tune with the following lyrics:

"I try to sleep
They're wide awake
They won't let me alone
They don't get paid to take vacations.
Or let me alone
They spy on me
I try to hide
They won't let me alone.
They persecute me
They're the judge and jury all in one."


What seemed paranoid more than thirty-five years ago now seems pretty common as political correctness has taken over the mindset of our children in school who have been indoctrinated with nonsense about sensitivity, equality and self esteem since entering kindergarten.

How bad is it?  Worse than I thought.  I try to avoid as many of these stories as possible because they depress me and make me want to sit in my boat and float down the Mississippi River.  Unfortunately, I can't ignore some of the stories that pass my way, and so in the interest of reminding my two sons that they are truly screwed I give you the following:



1.  A physiology professor at the University College in London was recently forced to resign from his position for remarks he made at a conference on women in science in South Korea.  Tim Hunt, a biochemist who won the Nobel Prize in physiology in 2001, was accused of being sexist over a joke he told during the opening of his speech at the conference.

Here's the joke:

"Let me tell you about my trouble with girls.  Three things happen when they are in the lab.  You fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticize them, they cry."

That's it.  There's nothing more to the joke.  Mr Hunt wasn't high on drugs or drunk when he gave the speech.  He didn't use profanity or use the N word.  All he did was tell the truth.

Some women do fall in love with their lab partners.
Some men fall in love with their lab partners.
And in my experience I have seen girls cry when criticized.

The fact that this joke caused such a major uproar indicates that feminists are still without a sense of humor and our colleges are run by a bunch of administrative pansies who will throw a Noble prize- winning biochemist overboard in favor of some politically correct instructor who will faithfully toe the liberal line.

Comments -- coming from those who were offended -- indicate how colleges today have become untethered from reality:

The University published a letter on its website that said, "UCL was the first university in England to admit women students on equal terms to men and does not agree with the comments Hunt has made."  Connie St. Louis, director of the science journalism program at City University in London, heard the comments at the convention and tweeted, "Really, does this Nobel laureate think we are still in Victorian times?"

I don't know what times we are in, but I know no one should ever tell a joke at UCL.



2. Angelique Clark, a sophomore student at West Career and Technical Academy in Las Vegas, said the Clark County School District denied her application to charter a pro-life club as a chapter of Students for Life in America, the nation's largest youth pro-life organization.

The school district explained itself like this -- "It was too controversial, and it would be too exclusive and it would leave out pro-choice people."

Huh?  My first thought was this is too controversial?  How about a teacher in a human sexuality class asking students to witness a live sex act between a woman, her boyfriend and another woman?  Or what about a class called "Queer Musicology," based on the idea that if you're gay then music by gay composers will sound different than it would if you were straight?  Or a class favorite called "Phallus 101" -- which uses a survey of critical theory and social justice of "feminist and queer takings-on of the phallus?"

And isn't the purpose of a club to attract student of like mind and skills?  Using this rational, a Spanish Club excludes students interested in German, French and Russian.  How dare the Chinese Club plan a trip to the Great Wall of China, when there are people who want to visit the Louvre in Paris?

It makes no sense, unless you are a liberal school administration determined to censor opposing views.  My guess is they are the same leftists who ridiculed students who opposed gay marriage. -- calling their opposition "hate speech."  Or who led the opposition against conservative speakers like Ann Coulter and Star Parker, a young African-American speaker on the harmful impact of abortion on black families.

Their hypocrisy, intolerance and tyranny are common throughout high schools and colleges who fashion themselves as institutions of independent thought and free speech.



3.  Jerry Seinfeld, who had one of television's biggest hits in the 90's, has been making the talk show circuit lately complaining about college students being too "culturally sensitive."  Too politically correct, and as a result they can't take a joke anymore.

While talking to ESPN's Colin Cowherd, he said:   "I don't play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me, "Don't go near colleges.  they're so PC'."   He said teens and college-aged kids don't understand what it means to use certain politically-correct terms.  "They want to use these words -- racist, sexist and prejudice."  Seinfeld said, "They don't know what the hell they are talking about."

As proof, Seinfeld shared on of his favorite jokes -- a commentary on the nature of cellphones which relies heavily on the way gay men move their hands when they speak (in a "flourishing motion").   The punchline -- which involves a comparison to a "Gay French king" -- has fallen flat with politically correct crowds, who think, ‘What do you mean gay? Why are you talking about being gay? What are you doing? What do you mean?’

I thought, ‘Are you kidding me?’”  Seinfeld continued: “I could imagine a time where people would say that’s offensive to suggest that a gay person moves their hands in a flourishing notion, and you need to apologize. There’s a creepy, PC thing out there that really bothers me.”

So, you want to hear a really funny joke?  Chris Rock recently said that he's stopped playing colleges not because they're too politically correct, but because "they're too conservative."  Now that's a good one!



To tell you the truth, I don't feel much sympathy for these coddled students who can barely read and write.  After all, they are the offspring of parents who rioted in American streets and planned its overthrow during the 1960's.

Nor do I have sympathy for the high schools and colleges who must be wondering if the monster they created (like the monster in Mary Shelly's Frankenstein) is beyond their control.  When the monster refers to himself as "the Adam of your labours," he is reflecting back onto Dr. Frankenstein and trying to justify his feelings of vengeance and remorse.  Just like today's students who are trying to justify their feelings of political confusion and misery -- courtesy of an education system so offended by the founding principles of this once great country.

Let's hope this story ends better than the one where the Frankenstein monster drifts away on an ice raft that is soon lost in darkness, never to be seen again.