Naughty and Nice

The cold winds of December remind me that 2011 is finally winding down. In about a week, we will raise wine glasses to honor the passing year, and make proclamations for the next.  Good health, job security, success on the football field and good friends are reasons to give thanks.  But while such wishes are quick to leave our lips, no one really knows what is in store for 2012.

As proof of such folly, I bring you the good and bad of 2011.

Unpredictable to say the least -- in politics, we've endured Republican debates, a Washington deep freeze and state recall mania;  in sports, we've had historic athletic achievements, sexual perversions in the shower and a pursuit of baseball's coveted MVP; on the home front, we're finding that there is life after kids leave for college, the exciting world of the blogging and aging (not so) gracefully.

As much as I would like to think I have some control of the events that occurred in 2011 (in particular in my life and by default my kids and wife), I've begun to realize my input ends the minute I get out of bed in the morning.  The rest of the day is often spent in a three point stance, waiting for the hard count, then finishing in a cloud of dust.

As a result, I take great pride in handing out my observations of who's made the news this year.  So sit by the fire, warm your hands while you sip hot cocoa and read who's made the list of naughty and nice.


Those receiving something good in 2011

• The Green Bay Packers regain the "America's Team" moniker after overcoming a season full of injuries to key defensive and offensive players, beating the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-25 in Super Bowl XVI.
• Packer's quarterback, Aaron Rogers, stakes his case for 2011 MVP season with a passer rating over 120.00, more than 40 touchdowns, and an impressive 13-1 record though mid-December.
• Monte Ball's election as a Heisman finalist comes as a pleasant surprise.  After a mediocre 2010, Ball re-dedicated himself to Wisconsin football by losing weight and gaining strength.  For his efforts in 2011, he has scored 39 touchdowns, second most in NCAA history.
• I am able to finish the 51st running of the Maple Leaf 5 mile race in 45 minutes 23 seconds, beating an aging contingent of wannabe runners (and senior citizens in wheel chairs).
• Russell Wilson's transfer to Wisconsin gives the Badgers a legitimate shot at National Championship game.  Despite being derailed in losses to Michigan State and Ohio State, Wilson leads Badgers to crucial win in the inaugural BIG TEN Championship Game.
• Scott Walker takes on collective bargaining after becoming state's 45th Governor of Wisconsin.  Despite opposition from President Obama, national labor unions and frenzied protestors, Walker and Republican legislators pass law which limits collection bargaining rights of public unions.
• Looking for a new challenge, my wife accepts the job of starting up an anti coagulation service at Franciscan Skemp.  
• The Milwaukee Brewers win NL Central Division with 96-66 record, clinching their first division title in 28 years.  In playoffs, Brewers beat the Arizona Diamondbacks before losing to eventual World Series champs, St Louis Cardinals.
• Squirrel Factory begins in early January to rousing applause, despite Facebook opposition from liberal family members who remove me from their "friends" list.
• The end of the Iraq War.   Coalition deaths totaled 4,803 -- of which 4,484 (93%) were American.  The number of Americans wounded was 32,200.  The Congressional Research Service puts the dollar cost of Operation Iraqi Freedom at $806 billion.
• The return of Tim Allen to television in "Last Man Standing" on ABC.  It's good to see him struggling as the only man in a household full of women. 
• The race between 12-year incumbent David Prosser, Jr. and challenger Assistance Attorney general JoAnee Kloppenburg gains significant publicity as it is widely seen as a referendum on Gov. Walker's budget reforms.  Justice Prosser wins the seat after Kloppenburg mistakenly claims victory on election night.
• Tebowing becomes an overnight sensation after Denver quarterback Tim Tebow turns the Broncos into a playoff contender.  His public praise to God causes ESPN and national media outlets to wonder, "Does God decide who wins games in the NFL?"
• My son, Sean, graduates from Central High School and heads to Eau Claire to "bring new meaning to our exisitence through Biology."
• Mayor Matt Harter stands up to La Crosse's City Council, fighting back attempts to raise property taxes, increase the size of local government (including Fire and Police departments), and the hire of a City Administrator.
• Seventy-year-old North Korean dictator, Kim Jong-il dies of a heart attack, allowing his son, Kim Jong-eun to step in as "The Great Successor."  Citizens, upon hearing the news, cry in despair as they wonder if Jong-eun will be able to lead them out of the 1900's.
• Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden is captured and killed.  bin Laden was shot and killed inside his private residential compound in Abbottabad, Pakistan by U.S. Navy Seals and CIA operatives.  The "Jihadist Sheik" was the founder of Al-Qaeda, the jihadist organization responsible for the September 11 attacks on the U.S.

Those receiving a lump of coal in 2011

• In a setback for black conservatives, Herman Cain rises to the top of the Republican ticket before suspending his campaign due to unconfirmed sexual harassment charges and a decade-long affair.  Media rushes to judgement by publishing more than 90 negative stories within the first 5 days.
• The "Hebrew Hammer," Ryan Braun, is accused of testing positive for elevated testosterone, leading to a possible 50 game suspension for 2012.  The Milwaukee Brewer LF claims it was not a performance enhancing drug but a medication he was taking for an undisclosed illness.
• The Freedom From Religion Foundation claims a nativity scene isn't appropriate for a state building.  Annie Laurie Gaylor says her group is seeking a permit for its own display, one that's "slightly blasphemous" and an "irreverent tweak" on the nativity scene.  For years, the FFRF has maintained a sign in the State Capitol during the Christmas season which reads:  "At this season of the Winter Solstice may reason prevail.  There are no gods, no devils, no angels, no heaven or hell.  There is only our natural world.  Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds."
• Waivers from Washington D.C. for health care.  As a sign of the implausibility of Obama's health plan, the Department of Health and Human Services issued more than 1,000 waivers for plans that could not meet the new federal requirements.  Many of them union controlled.
• Dan Kapanke loses his State Senate seat to Democrat Jennifer Shilling.  Despite claiming "tonight is the beginning of balance and accountability" in Madison, the Democrats fail to win the three seats needed to take back control of the Senate and block Gov. walker's conservative agenda.  A good man goes down to teacher self interest and union greed.
• The Penn State sex abuse scandal brings down head football coach Joe Paterno and school president Graham Spanier after fellow coach Jerry Sandusky is accused of sexually assaulting eight underaged boys.
• Solyndra becomes the third solar company to belly-up when it lost more than half a million dollars in taxpayer money.  After endorsing a loan of $535 million, President Obama said, "Companies like Solyndra are leading the way toward a brighter and more prosperous future."
• Anything related to Washington politics.  The Senate and House of Representatives are full of career politicians who write their own rules, push for favorable positions with  the media, and enjoy gold-plated benefits (including automatic pay raises, full pensions and Cadillac health care).  2011 uncovered their favorable position with insider trading. leading many to get even richer.
• Occupy Wall Street protesters, claiming to represent the 99% (poor and middle class) camp out to complain about high unemployment, greed, corruption and undue influence of corporations.  Miraculously, President Obama and corrupt politicians escape their misguided wrath.
• Switching internet, television and phone service.  Whether it's Charter, CenturyLink or Direct TV -- it doesn't matter.  Never has something so simple been so complicated as switching from one provider to another.  If I never have to speak to customer service again, it'll be too soon.
• The 2011 Men's NCAA Basketball Championship game is a real stinker when #3 seed Connecticut defeats #8 seed Butler, 53-41.  A combined total of 41 points are scored in the first half, causing many sports fans to ask "I paid $300 a ticket for this trash?"
• Washington passes the buck on dealing with tough economic issues facing our nation.  The current national debt is over $15 trillion dollars, and social security and medicare will have a budget shortfall between $80-$120 trillion dollars within the decade. 
• Reality television sinks to new lows with Bad Girls Club, Battle of the Bods, Ashley Page:  Bikini or Bust, 16 and Pregnant, Hole in the Wall, Hunky Handyman, Losing it With Jillian, Paris Hilton's My New BFF and my favorite, Snoop Dogg's Father Hood.
• Testing viewers tolerance for the bizarre, Dancing with the Stars selects Chaz Bono, J. R. Martinez, Nancy Grace, Ricki Lake, Rob Kardashian and Ron Artest.
• The punishing recession of 2011 puts Eastman Kodak, Blackberry-maker Research in Motion, Office Max,Netflix, Hewlett-Packard, Sears and Best Buy on the edge of irrelevance and bankruptcy.
• Real unemployment numbers remain near 16% as the recession continues into its 3rd year.

To a better year in 2012 (and another Super Bowl).