On Graduations and Beyond

Earlier this month, my youngest son graduated from high school and is now planning on attending college this fall.  It is a seminal moment in life -- both as a parent AND as a young adult who is eager to leave the high school scene behind.

 

It has been too many years for me to remember much of my graduation from high school.  It's a terrible thing to lose memories of sitting on a hard folding chair for 2 hours while classmates and teachers talk about the last thing you want to hear:  more school.  I was trying earlier this summer to remember who our class president was, and came up empty.  Fortunately I received an invitation to our 35th class reunion next year, so maybe I'll find out then.

I actually have more memories of graduating from the University of Wisconsin-Madison -- one of which has me sitting on my Suzuki motorcycle, black gown flowing in the wind, while I hold onto a cowboy hat with one hand, a beer in the other.  Perhaps college had more meaning for me and the end of school (getting a job) signified more than the passage from high school to college.

Regardless, the past month has been spent planning and attending graduation parties, Sean's graduation and his orientation to college.  It has given me time to reflect on a number of things, among them --

Attending a graduation party is a lot more fun than hosting one.  Sitting down with a plate full of good food and a cold beer is just the way to spend an hour or two in early June.  Taking vacation days off to clean the garage, setting up tables and chairs, buying food and drinks and selecting pictures of your graduate's lifetime is not.  It's always rewarding to have the party and see everyone's reaction -- but ask my wife -- it's a lot of work and something I'm glad only comes around once every so many years.


Pulled pork is way over-rated.  Every party we went to (save one) served pulled pork.  The exception was bratwursts and hot dogs.  It got so bad that my wife decided to change our choice of food from pulled pork to beef and chicken tacos.  Is there a book on graduation parties that says you have to serve the same thing?  Trust me when I say that I like barbecue pork and all, but it'll be awhile before you see me eating at Famous Dave's restaurant. 


Where do I put all this food?  One of the hardest things to know is how many people are going to show up?  And those who do show up -- are they going to eat or not?  After filling up at other parties, chances are they won't be eating much this time around.  As a result, we had people showing up (after their own party) with left over food and desserts.  We gave as much away as we could, and still had a lot left over.  I'm still eating potato chips and drinking soda and beer.

"What did they just say?"  There were three class speakers at my son's graduation, all girls.  They were well prepared, looking sharp with their gold cords and maroon gowns, and eager to expound upon the meaning of their time at Central High School.  All three were Summa Cum Laude and well adorned with scholarships, class awards and offers to some of the best colleges around.  Somehow I was expecting to hear them say something worthy of all the accolades, but as soon as they were done, I looked at my wife and thought, "What did they just say?"  At the least, analogies to Goldsmith's She Stoops to Conquer, Hemingway's In Our Time, or  Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land would have been appropriate.  I honestly think I could have said something more memorable and relatable....

That familiar tune.  Graduation ceremonies are exciting and boring at the same time (after your son/daughter has walked across the stage, you can't wait for it to be over).  After 12 years of elementary, middle and high school, the energy level of the students and their guests is sky high.  The song "Pomp and Circumstance"  manages to evoke a number of emotions, including happiness, relief and triumph.  For me however, it is also tinged with a bit of nostalgia, as graduating seniors move beyond their first days of school, backpacks and parent/teacher conferences.  Did you know that the name of the song comes from a line in Act III of Shakespeare's "Orthello"?  And that there are actually five different "Pomp and Circumstances" marches?

 

Yeah!  I'm done!.  With the end of graduation, comes the relief in knowing that you have made it into the adult world.  While this is exciting, it can also be pretty intimidating and stressful.  So while you have the chance, enjoy an American tradition and get an ice cream cone or pick up a gallon of ice cream.  Few things make you feel like a kid -- with no worries -- like a scoop of Mackinaw Island Fudge in a waffle cone.




You expect me to live here?  When visiting prospective colleges, we also took a tour of the campus, including the dorms.  Inevitably we got the grand tour of the newest, nicest and largest dorm which had room to sleep, study and eat with magnificent views of Lake Michigan and tree-lined boulevards leading to the football stadium.  Reality sinks in on moving day when you try to cram two beds, a couch, a small refrigerator, TV, stereo, computers, 2 desks, 2 dressers and clothing into a 13 X 20 foot living space.  Thank goodness it's a coed dorm where women outnumber the men 2:1!


On your mark, get set, go!  Your son has spent the morning scouring the course catalog, meeting with a freshman adviser and preparing for 15 credit hours spread between lectures and labs.  All that you need is an open spot on Tuesday afternoon at 1:10 for that science lab.  Unfortunately when you get to class registration, you are told that the class just filled up and the only other Biology 207 lab is in the middle of your Macro Economics 110 class on Wednesday.  What do you do?  Back to the drawing board (and your adviser).

As I mentioned earlier, I don't remember much about my high school graduation or my first year of college.  I'm not sure if it's a coping mechanism that was implanted years ago to ease the pain or if it's something less sinister.  But I've always felt like one of the biggest joys of having children is being able to feel like a kid again.  Watching Disney's "The Little Mermaid," coaching baseball, building a medieval fort using pop-sickle sticks, and helping with math problems are things I'll always cherish doing with my two sons.

I can now add another graduation and college song to that list.


Eau Claire college dear, 
Hail to thee our Alma Mater.
Strong through every year,
carry high the Blue and Gold!
U – Rah – Rah
Aim for excellence.
Give the best that you have in you.
Go Blugolds, fight to win, for fame and victory!
B – L – U – G – O – L – D – S, BLUGOLDS!